Life on the diet lane

i've been home for 5 days now. it's been 5 days of eating, sleeping, and drinking at least 2 liters of water a day. that's to keep flushing out my kidney.

oh, i've also been monitoring my blood sugar count, first 4 times a day, then down to just twice a day. my count varies from about 110 - 120 in the mornings and up to 130 - 175 in the evenings. not great but i'm proud of not taking sugar, just splenda tho not too much of that either. salt too for that matter. if i use it at all, it's about 30 grains of salt for a meal.

so what's life been like on the diet lane? surprisingly, not as bad as i thought it would be. i dreaded living without salt, patis, bagoong, taba ng baboy, bacon, chicharon, chocolates, Sugarhouse Turtle Pie, Aristocrat Crema delos Reyes, and other goodies, but it's turning out to be not that difficult when you're aware of the consequences. for someone who didn't just like salty foods, but needed to taste the salt in every bite, that's saying something.

this evening, we had nilagang baka, which we usually eat with fish bagoong, sauteed in lots of garlic. i asked for the bagoong and just took a big sniff of it. good enough for me. last night, i did the same with the chocolates my children had for desert. i had wedges of dragon fruit, a gift from samantha, a friend of the family.

my meals are usually broth with leafy vegetables and fresh fish or meat w/o the fat, seasoned with onions, ginger, basil, lemon, and pepper. my favorite vegetables are broiled fat tomatoes, large white onions, and bell peppers with basil, oregano, lemon or kalamansi, and pepper.

for my meat, i usually like broiled pork, with the fat trimmed off, chicken with the skin removed before cooking, and beef, with lots of chili sauce or chili flakes. i usually have fish with my soup. the other day, i had sap-sap soup. it was delicious, but difficult to eat because of the small spines. worth it though.

next week, i'll ask for broiled fresh fish. i hope my favorite, hito.  also some broiled squid. i'd love to have crab and shrimps, but i'm allergic to them. not too bad an allergy, just itchiness in my lips. but in my condition, why chance it? i can wait.

my fresh garden salads are seasoned with lemon or with a little balsamic vinegar. as my brother, marlo, pointed out, i should use the other varieties of vinegar we have in the phils. that should add flavor and variety to my salads.

which ties in to an article i was reading yesterday about celebrity chef, ming tsai, of 'east meets west' on the lifestyle network. he was here recently for a visit, and he was surprised at the many kinds of vinegar we have. (http://showbizandstyle.inquirer.net/lifestyle/lifestyle/view/20090429-202195/Ming-Tsai-asks-for-chicken-adobo. unfortunately, this article seems to be an abridged version. the newspaper version had a longer portion on ming tsai's awe at our vinegar varieties.)

all in all, i've enjoyed the food without the salt and the sweets. i'm starting to realize that there's a whole lot of herbs, condiments, and things we can use to flavor our food. salt, patis, and bagoong are great, but they're not the only things we can use for flavoring.

anna j.o. says i can also have leche flan using splenda. must try that soon, but with skimmed milk.

it's been pretty good eating i must say. i've regained my appetite. i think i'm even eating a bit more now, tho healthy foods in controlled portions. i'll have to start light exercises next week if i don't want to regain the 15 pounds i lost.

i started going to mass last thursday. today, i was even able to attend a 2-hour parish pastoral council meeting with cardinal rosales. the pain from my wound didn't bother me as much as i thought it would. i had forgotten to take a pain-killer, but didn't really need it.

tomorrow, cris and i are having dinner with the cardinal in our parish. i don't know what they'll serve, but i don't think i'll partake much of the meal. i'm sure the food will have much of the delicious things forbidden to me, so i'll pass. that's the problem with dieting in the phils. there are so many instances of friends or clients giving meals, it can be embarrasing to turn down the food and explain my illness. have to think of how best to do that.

i'd appreciate any advice about healthy diets from you if you have any. recipes will be very welcome too. to my doctor friends, i won't ask you for medical advice on the sketchy info i'm providing in my blogs, but would like to hear stories and anecdotes about friends or patients in the same situation i'm in. everything you say will be studiously analyzed and referred to my doctors before applying them to me.

to those who are shy about giving your real names, i don't mind if you use aliases. i will probably know who you are by the things you say and the way you say them. besides, what you say may benefit not only me, but others who read my blog.

ps. bob s, it's great to hear from you after all these years. please keep in touch. i've been trying to reach you for so long. regards to alice, and to flora.

The beginning of the rest of my life

11 days, countless bouts of incredicle pain, 1 major operation, several tests, 1 less kidney, innumerable pledges of support and prayers, and a few realizations later, I'm back home. It has been a personal journey for me, with Cris constantly by my side.
I do not wish to speak of the pain I felt, for there was considerable pain. Perhaps it will be enough to say that simply being able to urinate was such a relief that it brought tears of joy. Fear was a constant that was blotted out by the pain. Even the fear of a major operation was unable to dampen my hoped for release from pain.
I've lost one kidney, but doctors say we are able to live well with just one, if we take good care of it. I plan to.
The tests aren't over yet. We're still awaiting the results of other tests. This time, there is no pain to make me forget the fear, so it is there. Something I will have to learn to live with and deal with.
Now, for the more important realizations I've had during this journey.
Realization #1: We are not indestructible.
Since my youth, I have played games with my health believing that I would overcome all possible illnesses, recuperate from the wear and tear I placed on myself, and rebuild any damage I sustained. Now the lesson has been driven home painfully and frighteningly – Superman comes from Krypton; we are of the planet earth, without superpowers, subject to the frailties of our humanity.
I will not advise against vices, for I did get some pleasure out of them, but I will advice caution and judiciousness. Vices require us to pay a price, the very least of which is to regularly seek medical advice. When the doctors tell us it's time to pay the price for our 'good times', then do so readily and wholeheartedly. Nothing is free in this world, except God's grace.
Realization #2: Our time on earth is limited.
This is a corollary to #1. Early in my life, books I read taught me to live as if everyday were the last day of my life. In this way, we would value every minute of our time and use the minutes wisely. It is a lesson I thought I learned well, but now realize, never really did. I spent too much time on careless pursuits. Today I find so many things left undone, so many lessons not learned, and lessons learned but never shared, so many people left unaided or uncared for, and much love left ungiven.
Value your time. There's too little of it to squander. Learn what you want to. Live your dreams. And most of all, share your life. Every life you enrich, enriches your own.
Realization #3: No matter what we think of ourselves, there are people who truly love us.
It does not matter much whether we are rich or poor, wise or foolish, good-looking or plain, people will love us despite our faults and shortcomings. I never considered myself as extraordinarily caring, or friendly, or helpful. In fact, many times I have been mean and hurtful to friends. Yet the outpouring of support Cris and I have received during this trial in our life together has shaken me. People do care for me, not because of what I am, but because of who they are.
I am humbled. Thank you.
Realization #4: Never take the love of a good woman or a good man, for granted.
For the same unknown reasons that people care for me, my wife Cris loves me. She has been by my side from the day we first went to the hospital and has taken care of me most lovingly and patiently. Her patience was greatly tested by my irritability especially right after the operation. I would ask her to raise the head of my hospital bed, and in the next instant, tell her to lower it. I asked her to massage by back first, gently, then, more vigorously, only to shout at her when her touch would trigger pain in my wound. She asked for prayers when I could not, or would not. (Remember, I did not think anyone would care enough for me to pray, except my close family and a few friends.) She would fetch things for me and even emptied my urinal when the nurses were not around.
To put things into perspective, Cris until recently, efficiently headed an ATM consortium. She is currently a highly-valued consultant for a conglomerate. Her advice is much sought-after and heeded, by presidents and top officials of banks and other companies. She has proven herself a success in her chosen field.
Yet, she has also chosen to serve me with great concern and humility. If that isn't love, then it doesn't exist. And I can only respond with a simple, heartfelt, “I love you too, Cris.”
Realization #5: Prayers live out our faith.
During this time, I realized that prayers for others is a concrete realization of Christ's second commandment to love others as you love yourself. But unless one truly believes in God and in His love for us, our prayers lack faith and strength, and therefore will not be effective. So before we get to the second commandment, we must first live the first which is to love the Lord with all heart, with all our mind, with all our soul, and with all our strength. Your prayers for me have been effective, and so I know you live the two greatest commandments of God.
Please continue to pray for me, as we should pray for one another, for we all need prayers in our lives. I can think of nothing in our mundane, everyday lives that allows us to give glory and praise to our Father than our prayers for each other.
Realization #6: God is life.
Faith in God saves us. Being saved is not living forever, nor is it living without fear, or pain, or hardships. Being saved is being reunited with God. Faith will bring us there.
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Next week, the doctors will discuss the results of the biopsy of my kidney's mass with us. They've already warned us that the mass is most likely to be malignant. The results of the bone scan showed 'occult' traces of cancer cells. We've been asked to shop around for an oncologist.
There is fear and anxiety, but also faith and hope.
This journey of mine will go on. With Cris. With our children. With our extended family. With our friends. And with God.
Let us be thankful for the time we have together, and let us rejoice in our lives!