Now, what do i do for an encore?

a week before our family went on christmas vacation, i visited dr jimmy to get some food supplements. since he didn't have any visitors at the time, i was able to see him briefly to inquire about my condition. as usual, his first question was, “how do you feel?” i told him i felt quite good.

he then asked me if i was muscle testing myself. muscle testing is the technique he uses to diagnose his patients and select the right supplements and their dosages, for whatever ails them. it's really very simple, but a bit complicated to explain, and still harder to believe in. still, given the number of people dr jimmy has treated and cured, while the process may raise doubts, one cannot argue with the results.

cris and i have read the book of dr jimmy's mentor on muscle testing. we attended a day-long seminar on it. we've been practicing on ourselves and our family, but we haven't gotten the technique down pat quiet yet, though we intend to practice until we do.

anyway, what i wanted to say was that during that visit with dr jimmy, he did his muscle testing bit and pronounced me free of cancer, diabetes, infections, etc. he said i didn't have any abnormal cells in my left lung, nor in my right humerus, nor in my right clavicle, nor in my remaining kidney, nor in my pancreas, nor anywhere else in my anatomy. i didn't have any viral infections or unwelcome fungi, spermatozoa, or bacteria. i was indeed, healthy.

that was very welcome news. from a radical nephrectomy in april to diagnosed cancer cells in may to metastasized cancer in june, back then, i remember reading that people with osseous metastasis have an average lifespan of 3.5 months. and here i am in december, declared cured. thanks to God, the Healer; to God's medications, His natural foods; to God's instruments, dr kelley and dr jimmy; to God's caregivers, Cris, Melds; and to God's cheerleaders, my family and friends.

after withstanding the fright of seeing blood for urine; after living through the pain of being unable to urinate; after recuperating from having my right kidney removed; after accepting the fact of a raw vegan diet, spiced with raw pork pancreas and raw beef liver for the rest of my life; after battling renal cancer and osseous metastasis; after surviving all that, i found myself faced with a crucial question, “what next? what do i do for an encore?”

i've lived a convalescent's life for 8 months, spoiled and pampered by my family, prayed for and prayed over by friends, attended to hand and foot by cris. now i realize i can no longer milk that cow. i've lost the excuse of being gravely ill and in dire need of everyone's care and concern. This past months, my need to exist was taken for granted because probably i was at the point of ceasing to exist.

now, i am well. and nothing can be taken for granted. i face the prospect of once more, having to justify my existence. i never realized getting cured would be such a tough act to follow. Indeed, what next?

my more spiritually-minded friends would say i've been given a second chance for a reason. there must be something else i have to do, that's why i was allowed to live longer. but that's difficult to believe. why me, and not others? what have i got to offer that's so special?

on the first day of our family vacation in the province, i received word of the death of 2 friends on the same day. one, susan's brother, died of cancer at 38, after two years of fighting the illness. the other, prosy, also died of cancer, 11 months after being diagnosed. both were good persons, very religious, faithful in the Lord's service.

we normally ask, "why did he/she have to die? he/she was such a good person." when i was a child, a very close relative died, and i asked an uncle why that particular person had to die? his simple answer taught me more about death than anything or anyone else. he asked me, 'ok, if not her, then who would you pick to die?" ever since when i mourn anyone's death, i would remember that Q&A, and realize all over again the futility of the question.

getting back to my dilemma of coming up with an encore, i was already getting an idea that one of the things i could do was to share the lessons i learned from my experiences and the new information i've gained about wellness and health.

i received a confirmation of sorts when i learned last week that 2 college friends were also ailing. charlie was a cancer suspect, and decided to fly to singapore for a diagnosis rather than succumb to a biopsy. rey, confirmed with stage 3 lung cancer, opted for an alternative medicine treatment.

i felt that people would benefit from knowing how i selected a treatment and how i went through with it. they may or may not choose the same path i did, but the process would be similar.

so yes, i'll continue this blog. it's not quite the resounding encore i'd like for my life, but maybe, it's not yet time for an encore.

and that's life as benjie, hoping for a fitting encore, without knowing if it really is an encore, or just the next number in the program.